Celebrating Birthdays and Holidays During Social DistancingLast week, we piled the family into the car to take my daughter to a friend’s birthday party. When we got to her friend’s house, we honked the horn, laughed, cheered and yelled birthday wishes out the windows of the car. And then we drove away. The party was over.
The reality of celebrating special occasions under stay-at-home orders and social distancing recommendations is… strange! There will be moments of newness and excitement, and moments of sadness and disappointment. As parents, it’s important we remember that we can’t always prevent our children from feeling letdown. And as Katie Hurley, LCSW, tells us: That’s okay. What we can do is manage expectations when possible, let our children know we understand their emotions, and help them come up with new plans for enjoying special days.
I love the idea of using this time to settle into new or different holiday and birthday traditions. The day her loved ones drove by to scream happy birthday from their cars is a day I’m sure my daughter’s friend will never forget. My family won’t forget it, either!
Here are 10 more ways families across the country are creating socially-distant celebrations:
1 Host a virtual movie night.
My daughter “went to” a second birthday party through video chat. Everyone signed on and watched a movie together, creating a shared experience and a sense of togetherness, even though they couldn’t be in the same room. For some weekend movie ideas, check out PBS KIDS Family Night!
2 Design a neighborhood “chalk walk.”
Bethany Peterson in Iowa organized a “Chalk the Block” celebration for her son’s birthday. She invited neighbors to write happy birthday messages and draw on the sidewalks with chalk outside their homes. Then, her family walked around the neighborhood on her son’s birthday to check out all the artwork.
Through a neighborhood social media page, she was able to collaborate with other families who were celebrating birthdays at the same time — sharing the love. The neighborhood is planning more “Chalk the Block” parties for upcoming birthdays, as well!
3 Make plans for a half-birthday celebration.
For the past six months, Kris Pettie, in Maryland, has watched his son proudly tell friends and family that he’s “three and a half!” When his son turns four in a couple weeks, they’ll have a small family celebration -- with extended family on video. But they’re already planning a second party (hopefully with friends and family in person) when he turns “four and a half!”
4 Organize a socially-distant parade.
In Alabama, Meredith Schamburg Husnik threw a surprise birthday parade for her sons, who have birthdays three days apart. Their friends drove or walked by their house at a set time — honking horns, playing music, waving signs, and yelling and singing happy birthday. “My boys felt special and loved,” Meredith said.
5 Share experiences — and cake! — across the country.
Margot Wilk planned to celebrate her daughter’s second birthday with her in-laws. When that trip had to be canceled, plans were improvised. “We decided to bake a cake, and my in-laws baked the same cake. We set up a video chat and we all lit the candles together to create some semblance of a party,” Margot said. “It was really cute, but we did have a lot of leftover cake…”
6 Plan ahead for a virtual Passover Seder.
Margot’s family is also making socially-distant plans for Passover. Her parents are hosting a Seder meal over video conference. They’ve sent around digital copies of the Haggadah, and are pre-assigning readings and blessings to virtual attendees. “I’m thankful that we’ll be able to do something ‘together’ as a family, but I think the Seder will be the biggest moment so far of how isolating this situation can feel,” Margot said.
7 Celebrate in small ways, all day.
Brittany Bungert’s daughter turned four on the first Monday the whole family stayed at home in Iowa due to coronavirus. “[S]o it was an adjustment,” Brittany said. They made the best of it by spreading out the celebration throughout the day. It started with a special family breakfast, then one present before lunch, followed by a few more as the day went on. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles also did what they could "to make sure her quarantine birthday was still special," Brittany said. They celebrated through video chat and sent birthday surprises, as well.
8 Visit the Easter Bunny — at a distance!
When a (very lucky and apparently important!) neighbor invited the Easter Bunny to stand on their porch in Illinois, Katie Collins and her children were able to walk by and take photos with the bunny from the sidewalk. Katie is also planning to include extended family in her kids’ Easter egg hunt, by bringing them along on a video call.
9 Create a family scavenger hunt.
For her 7-year-old’s birthday, Kayla Craig created a scavenger hunt around their Iowa home. “Each spot had a printed clue. When he found a clue, I played a pre-recorded video message from a friend or family member reading a riddle that would take him to the next clue,” she said. “It added a lot of excitement and felt like a special birthday party game. It ended with a big reveal — a new, kid-sized basketball hoop!”
10 Give heartfelt gifts you can make at home.
Kayla’s family also took advantage of being at home by giving sweet, DIY gifts. Her 9-year-old son wrote a list of things he loves about his 7-year-old brother on his birthday. Then, a week later, the two boys gifted their 4-year-old brother with a bag full of homemade birthday goodies. One gave paper airplanes and a stuffed animal he used to love; the other gave a big stack of coloring pages that featured his little brother’s favorite characters.
Some birthdays and holidays will look a little different this year, and it might be hard to celebrate with our friends and families the way we have before. There’s bound to be disappointment — but we also know there’s opportunity to try something new and have a celebration you’ll never forget.
As the Director of PBS KIDS for Parents, Mary Hope Garcia oversees the development of resources to support parents as they help their children learn, grow and thrive. When she’s not working, Mary Hope dreams of finishing her kids’ first-year photo books, organizing the house, and basking on the beach. On weeknights, when her husband of 11 years drives their daughter to dance classes, she runs after their son while also attempting to make dinner. In other words, she lives in Arlington, VA with her husband, daughter and son.
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